The Church Bulletin
A pastor was known for his lengthy sermons. One Sunday, he noticed a man get up and leave during the middle of his message. The man returned just before the conclusion of the service. Afterward, the pastor asked the man where he had gone.
“I went to get a haircut,” was the reply.
“But why didn’t you do that before the service?” the pastor asked.
“Because,” the gentleman said, “I didn’t need one then.”
The Donation
A little boy was in a church with his mother when he started feeling ill. “Mommy,” he said, “can we leave now?”
“No,” his mother replied, “the service isn’t over yet.”
“Well, I think I’m gonna throw up!”
“Then go out the front door and around to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush.”
After about 60 seconds, the little boy returned to his seat.
“Did you throw up?” his mother asked.
“Yes,” the boy replied.
“How could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and returned so quickly?”
“I didn’t have to go out of the church, Mommy. They have a box by the front door that says, ‘For the Sick.’”
The Sermon
After a church service, a little boy told the pastor, “When I grow up, I’m going to give you some money.”
“Well, thank you,” the pastor replied, “but why?”
“Because my daddy says you’re one of the poorest preachers we’ve ever had.”
The Sunday School Lesson
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five- and six-year-olds. After explaining the commandment to “honor thy father and thy mother,” she asked, “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?”
Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, “Thou shalt not kill.”
The Choir Practice
The choir director was frustrated because the choir members were not showing up for practice. He announced, “I want to remind everyone that choir practice is mandatory. If you don’t show up, you will be required to sing a solo next Sunday.”
